{February 19, 2012}   Whitney Houston

I was wondering what I’d blog about next b/c I was really at a loss for a topic.

And then Whitney Houston died.

I found out while I was at a homecoming basketball game . My best friend tapped me and told me. I didn’t believe him and told him to get off Twitter b/c they love to kill off celebs. But he said he was on CNN and you know that when CNN reports something it’s real. A mutual friend said that he’d seen it on CNN too.

I called my other best friend and she screamed at me through the phone. She didn’t believe me but I told her to go to CNN. She told me she’d email me and hung up.

I’d said that I wasn’t going to blog about her death b/c every other blogger was doing so.

But I changed my mind

There’s really not much about her that I can say that hasn’t already been said. You know, how great of an actress and singer she was.  Her life as a wife and mother. Her ups and downs and lastly, her impact on music as a whole. It’s all been said in one form or another. I will just add that I think she had one the prettiest smiles ever and such pretty teeth.

A friend of mine said something I hate that I can’t remember verbatim. It was about how a lot of people’s favorite Whitney Houston songs were remakes. (Greatest Love of All and I Will Always Love You).  She also mentioned how quite a few people (myself included) have forgotten about the originals.   I do know that Dolly Parton sang I Will Always Love You but I will admit that I have no idea who sang Greatest Love of All before she did. Whitney Houston made those songs her own

Some bloggers discussed who they felt was worthy of doing tributes to her.

Here is my dream list

  • Monica
  • Christina Aguilera
  • Jori
  • Tamar Davis
  •  Adele*
  • Mariah Carey
  • Celine Dion
  • Tamia
  • Chante Moore
  • My church/childhood friend Janae

It really doesn’t matter to me which songs of hers they sing though I’d prefer Monica sing You Give Good Love and Christina Aguilera sing Run to You. I’ve seen clips of them sing these songs on YouTube and they did wonderful jobs.

Jori has done snippets of  You Give Good Love and I Love the Lord. I want her to do the whole songs.

*Adele is still growing on me, very slowly I might add, but I think I’d want to hear her do a Whitney Houston classic.

The funeral service was beautiful. I cried so much my head was throbbing when it was over. I almost couldn’t take it when they lifted her casket in the air and carried her out to I Will Always Love You. This was when I learned that not only do I snort when I laugh hard but I also do it when I’m crying hard.

And now whenever I hear that song I will think she’s singing it in regards to her passing.

Everybody pretty much has that one song by her that will now bring tears to their eyes. I have 3 and this was before she died so imagine how I feel now when I hear them. Those three songs are Jesus Loves Me, the intro to I’m Every Woman and Joy to the World.

Someone tweeted me the link to her funeral program. 11 pages and on the last page is a letter her mother wrote to her. Read it here.

Whitney Houston has now joined that choir of legends entertaining God in Heaven. I hope she rests in peace.


{June 29, 2011}   Settling in a relationship

TP (TwinPisces) sent me an email with the following question(s):

Is there a thin line between settling and being flexible/realistic? What is settling?

My answer was:

I think that to a woman who’s unsure of what she wants there’s a thin line between the two. But to a woman like you or me, there’s a solid difference between settling and being flexible

to me, settling is being with someone just to say you have someone. It’s lowering your standards because you’re either tired of looking or you’re not sure how to change the results you’re getting in the dating pool and you feel that what you’ve found is all there is out there

being flexible is being with someone who may not have all the qualities you’re looking for but they have most of them. It’s learning to live with the little things (like he leaves his socks on the floor, something minor like that) because the big things are way more important. He may need a reminder to start the dishwasher but the trash is always taken out, he cooks on occasion, he’s working, providing for himself (and you) and a bunch of other stuff that REALLY matters.

A woman will take a man in, do everything for him just to be able to brag to her single friends that she’s with someone. the only time a man will take care of a woman in a similar manner is if that’s his wife.

I do believe that women settle more than men do though. Men grow on women, but if a man isn’t interested in you in the least bit, there’s pretty much nothing you can do to change that. Yeah, he may date you b/c the sex is good but everything else you’re NOT doing is going to outweigh the good sex and he’ll leave.

I asked a male friend of mine what his take on settling was and this is what he said: I think especially black women are forced to settle more than men simple because of the numbers game and the fact black men aren’t where we need to be mentally. We all should be flexible b/c nobody is perfect. 

TP also asked me to make a small list of what matters and what doesn’t. I did

Would you rather nag your man about leaving the toilet seat up (when you can spend less than 10 secs putting it back down) or be happy he cleans the entire bathroom every week?

Would you rather nag him because he constantly watches porn on the Internet or be happy his income (combined with yours) is able to pay the bills, one of which allows you Internet access?

Would you rather nag him because he forgot your birthday or appreciate the “just because it’s *insert any given day of the week* flowers on rare occasions?

Which is more important to you? His imprint on a church pew or the fact that he knows (trusts and believes) that whoever he prays to will be with him through ALL things, good and bad?

Which is more important? Him driving a fancy car or the fact that when you hear a funny noise in your own car he either knows what it is and how to fix it or takes it to the mechanic for you?

Like my friend said, nobody is perfect so figure out which of your “must haves” for a mate you can live with and the ones you can live without. Also, keep in mind that someone out there will be doing the same for you.

{June 23, 2011}   Coontastic is what I am

“you listen to a lot of coon tunes Ash”

A tweet to me from a friend the other day after my excitement about Jeezy doing a video for his song “Ballin’ “ off his new mixtape. I love that song but I had already dreamt what the “Broads” video would be like.

That tweet got me thinking though…do I really listen to that much coon music aka music that’s out of my character? Yes, I do and I love it.

I actually sat down and did an inventory of sorts of all the “Ashley I can’t believe you of all people listen to/like that song” songs I have in my music library.

These songs include but aren’t limited to:

–        Gucci’s So Icy

–       Memphis Bleek’s Round Here

–       8Ball and MJG’s Comin’ Out Hard (yes, the whole album)

–       Master P’s Bourbons and ‘Lacs

–       Gorilla Zoe’s Lost

–       Ruff Ryders’ Down Bottom

–       Big Tymers’s Oh Yeah

–      DRS’s Gangsta Lean

–       The Luniz’s I Got Five On It

–       Drunken Master’s 50 Niggas Deep (and I know quite a few niggas who this song applies to)

–       Tela’s Sho’ Nuff

–       The Game’s One Blood

–       Do or Die’s Po Pimp

–       Pastor Troy’s Dope Boy

–       Boyz in Da Hood’s Dem Boyz

–       Jim Jones’s Don’t Push Me Away

–       Rick Ross’s Blow

–       Cam’ Ron and Kanye’s Down and Out

–       Countless T.I. songs (I swear TI mentions my friend’s name in You Don’t Know Me)

–       Countless Jeezy songs


I also love the songs where there’s like a thousand rappers on it. Besides the beat, which I love, I enjoy hearing the different styles of these rappers come together over one beat. It’s nice to hear a New York rapper followed by one from the deep south and then one from some other state

Some of my favorite collaborations are

-the remix to TI’s Top Back (Jeezy’s verse on that is my favorite)

-the original and remix to DJ Khaled’s I’m So Hood (these two exemplify what I mean about the different styles coming together)

– the remix to Jim Jones’s We Fly High (the order in which they rap was best, in my opinion)

With all of these songs one would wonder how Luda, a rapper who some people deem “soft”, holds the number one spot (pun intended). It’s his vocal dynamism that I love so, that’s what keeps him at numb. one.

This all started when I used to ride with my brother to school. He was always playing the whole Coming Out Hard album and I grew to love it. It’s actually my favorite non-Luda rap album. This is also when I heard and loved Master P’s Ghetto D and Juvenile’s 400 Degreez. He also played for me Lil Wayne’s I Feel Like Dying and that is one of my favorite Weezy songs.

My love for songs of this nature escalated when I went to GSW. This is where I met most of my weed head/alcoholic friends.

If you know me more than likely you’re aware of my sheltered upbringing. I was raised in the church and we all know the stereotypes associated with women raised in the church. You’re probably also aware of how most of the people I associate with smoke weed and are forever getting drunk. So to hear that I love these songs is surprising to some people.

I’m attracted to what I like to call the “educated thug”. In the words of Kelly Rowland “a rude boy that’s good to me with street creditability”.  Weed heads and alchys fascinate me on some odd and probably weird level that I can’t explain.

Most of the time when I listen to “coontastic” songs I don’t exactly understand the metaphors in them. I don’t always ask, mainly because it doesn’t matter, but I know that I can go to my friends and they’ll explain a lyric to me. I remember when I first learned what Camillionaire meant by “Ridin’ Dirty”. I laughed b/c I was told “you do it all the time”.

However, when I do understand a metaphor on my own a big smile forms on my face.

This was my attempt to explain my random tweets of rap lyrics from such songs. To really know me is to fully understand my love for these songs.

Jagged Edge dropped a new album yesterday titled “The Remedy”

I found this out via Twitter. I’m not sure what/who promotes JE but the only album buzz I’ve been hearing lately was from Jill Scott’s camp because her album also dropped on yesterday.

I went to to sample the tracks. After hearing a few of them I realized I needed to check YouTube to see if anybody (maybe even JE themselves) had posted full versions of any of the songs.

They had. So I listened and it’s a good album. I love “Baby”, “When the Bed Shakes”,  “Mr. Wrong” and others

JE also has put out two videos from this album. For their “Baby” and “Flow Through My Veins” tracks. and I’m guessing these two will dropped as singles

these videos can be seen via their official YouTube page (TheOfficialJE)

Here is the video for “Flow Through My Veins”

Take a listen and enjoy. I did

{June 14, 2011}   An update on my weight

My mama finally asked me what sparked this new eating and exercise regimen I’ve been on. She was SURE I was going to say something about what a friend or whoever told me.


It was this video

It came across my Tumblr dashboard and I watched with about 3 cookies in my hand. I put the cookies down b/c I was ashamed that she could do that and I couldn’t.  She’s in better shape than I am. I mean I can hold up my weight, fairly well I might add, but I’m not sure if I can hang upside down on a pole by my ankles (I’d love to try it one day though.) I’m sure she’s probably healthier than I am too.

I watched this video like 5 times. I have got to try this.  I want to get my body in whatever shape it needs to be in to do that with the ease that she does.

the only thing she did that I can do is stand on my head. I can’t even do a split anymore.

That is the biggest reason I started this whole thing. Another reason was that I wanted to get some sort of exercising into my schedule no matter how light it may be

My weight is still rapidly dropping. Two days ago the scale said 101lbs and I got kind of excited. That is, until I got on it late last night and it said 99lbs.

I have a pair of capri pants that were bought for me when I was in 10th grade. Never knew why I didn’t wear them back then but I kept them b/c they’re so cute. they fit perfectly now.

there’s a pair of jeans in my closet that are a size 1 that I haven’t been able to fit into since 2004, they fit again (yay!!).

I had to reassure my parents that I wasn’t doing this so that I could be super skinny.  and I’m really not.

I keep at it b/c it’s a great feeling to eat “right” and exercise. also, I’m excited that I came up with an exercise plan on my own and it works.

this is a good read

et cetera