blessednbabbling











{October 6, 2012}   #30WriteOctober-Day One

Courage

I’m not ashamed, at least not anymore, to say that I’ve only had my license for a little over a year.

I’ve always thought it was no one else’s business so unless you asked (and I felt like telling you) you’d never know it hasn’t been that long.

Why did it take me so long? Fear

My daddy was killed in a truck accident when I was 3 and growing up I was in my fair share of accidents. There was no way I wanted to get behind the wheel.

I didn’t really know I was as traumatized as I was until someone pointed out to me that I was ALWAYS bracing myself whenever I’d see brake lights on the car in front of us. I would also brace myself whenever the car I was in would brake b/c I was always sure the car behind us wouldn’t brake on time and we’d be hit. You know the pedals on the passenger side of Driver’s Ed cars? Yeah, that was ALWAYS me. For YEARS.

All of the “if you drove you could do this, go there” type pep talks never worked either. My aunt told me it was a fear and that I needed to constantly remind myself that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”.  She even offered to pay for driving lessons. Want to know what I told her? (and this was years ago). Told her that she’d be wasting her money.

I’m not even sure what finally pushed me to go ahead and do it. Actually I know a tiny bit of what it was but I’ll never tell anyone, not even that person. But alas, I took the test. And passed.

Only once have I ever said that I wish I’d have gotten a license sooner but I believe that “timing is everything” and that I got mine at the right time for ME.

Driving is very liberating. More liberating than I thought.  My aunt was right when she said “when you’re the driver you can go where you want to go and leave when you get tired of being there”. I love it.

the biggest thing that happened once I obtained a license (and a car) was that it has thoroughly intensified my relationship with God. We talk more so in Milo (what I’ve named my car) than we do in church.  And I love it

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