blessednbabbling











{July 19, 2011}   Life as a 25 year old Virgin

This is, so far, the hardest piece I’ve ever written although I was SO sure it would be the easiest. It’s the complete opposite. How hard should it be for me to write about my life as a 25 year old virgin {{emphasis on the word “my”}}? It shouldn’t be hard at all, but *sigh* it is.

I’ve been a virgin my whole life but this year, well the months between my 25th birthday and my next one, I’ve actually embraced it and sort of, begun to flaunt it more. I’ve always been proud of this but I’ve also felt that {{esp. during my late high school, early college years}} a lot of women think I’m bragging about it. Some have even told me that I think I’m better than women who aren’t virgins by this age. Believe me, I don’t. My sister says that I am better because I’m waiting and they didn’t. Uhm, okay, but I just feel that they made a choice and I’m making one as well.

Being this age and still having my virginity is not as fun as it seems/looks. Aside from people constantly asking about what I do whenever I get horny or asking me whether or not I masturbate (neither of which are ANY of their business, by the way) you also have those who ask if I’m gay. {{And if you are one of THOSE, I’m not, have never been, never will be.}} Then there are those who try to figure out what it is about me that keeps me from getting a man that either wants it (and for the record I feel some kind of way about my virginity being referred to as “it” but anyway) or has enough game to convince me that they’re “the one”. Game won’t work on me, saying no, in this instance, comes naturally to me.

This, among other things, has made me keep this information to myself for so long. So, why be proud of it and talk about it now, you ask? For the first time in a long time I told someone about it and they responded a lot more positively than I expected. He actually called me an alien and I think by that he meant women like me don’t exist. But, we do, we’re just {{as I like to call us}} an “endangered species”. He told me I shouldn’t hide it or be ashamed of it. I agreed.

My best friend called me “pure” once and I laughed. But, he’s right.

I’ll admit that I get this “glad it’s not me” feeling when I hear of or see women who have had to deal with unexpected pregnancies, being judged for having a certain number of partners, etc. I unintentionally hurt some feelings when I asked my friend if she actually thought about what kind of father the man she was sleeping with would be if she were to get pregnant. She didn’t consider it and though she loves her son, she’s not very fond of his father. This feeling also comes when I see women who become attached to a man (or fall in love) ONLY because the sex is good.  Please take note that I’m not judging these women, I’m just “glad it’s not me”.

I also decided to be more “open” about it when I answered a twitter question about when was the last time I had sex. My answer shocked a high school friend of mine who then kind of put me on blast on twitter (in a good way though). She said that if I have sex before marriage I’d hurt her feelings, lol.  And then I answered a question from Raheem DeVaughn (who follows me) and said “still in possession of my virginity so I can’t say”. To my surprise he RT’d it to his followers which resulted in me getting mentions of how honorable that is and how proud these women (who don’t know me) are of me. I also got mentions telling me to keep it and that I might as well since I’ve waited this long. I even got one from another virgin who’s in her twenties and she said {{because I’m older than she is}} that I give her hope that it’s possible to continue to keep her virginity this far into her adulthood.

Another reason I don’t like telling people is because they think I’m lying. How am I supposed to prove something like that? Am I supposed to carry a doctor’s note that says “she’s been checked and I confirm that she’s still a virgin” and show it like it’s some kind of ID?  All I can tell you is to get confirmation from people who know me. A college friend said that if you talk to me long enough you’ll see that I’m telling the truth about being a virgin. I didn’t (and still don’t) get exactly what she meant by that but okay. And I hate being asked why I’ve waited this long? Does it really matter? I don’t think so but, if you MUST know, for the first 24 years I was on the “I’m waiting until marriage” train. I’m now on the “if the RIGHT man {{and ‘right’ by my standards alone}} comes along” train.

People and their misconceptions of what a virgin is supposed to look, think, and act like make me laugh. I’m supposed to be COMPLETELY clueless about sex and not participate in conversations on it. I’m also not supposed to be proud of having big boobs. Quote from a complete stranger who overheard me conversing with a friend “so what’s the purpose of you being heavy chested when no man has ever been able to enjoy them”. Really dude? That’s the ONLY thing my boobs are good for? I beg to differ. I’ve heard {{from friends}} that I do indeed have an inner freak and I’ve just now realized that they were right. But, I’m not supposed to have one because “you won’t know until you’ve actually had sex” right? I think that thought process is stupid. I’m the exact opposite of what I’m supposed to be as a virgin. I can’t speak on the specifics of sex but I can give you my thoughts on what I WANT to get from it. I’m guessing that big boobs and a large butt (which I don’t actually have, my butt is super small) are to magically appear the day I decide to lose my virginity? Yeah, that’s stupid as well. As far as the freak in me, am I not allowed to dream/think about what I want to happen in the bedroom? The worst thing that can happen with that is for me to at least try it and THEN discover that I don’t like it.

I enjoy living life free of the stresses/emotions/feelings that come along with sex. If I’m EVER to change my mind about it, it will be MY decision and no business of the rest of the world. I wish to not be judged on this decision because I didn’t judge others on the age they were when they decided to relinquish their virginity. That probably won’t happen but I can still hope. And despite being told that I will be unable to hide the fact that I’m no longer a virgin I will do my best to keep it a secret.

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Maxim says:

Admire your candor, and how you don’t go into the nitty gritty of it all. You’re a better person than me… I’ve written about that intimately on several occasions I feel.



I’m sorry this response is late, forgive me please
Thank you! I just got tired of people’s assumptions/ignorance and decided to address it once and for all



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